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May 2001 -
Helga,
Why do you call Lila 'Little Miss Perfect'? I
have freckles and red hair.
- Victoria
Lila Wannabe,
You're asking for it, sister!
Unless you would like to have a little talk with 'Old Betsy', you ought to stop
asking questions like that. Lila is so annoyingly perfect that it makes me want
to gag 'ever so much' whenever I see her. She has half the guys in school going
gaga over her, blindly following her every move, when their attentions should
rightly belong to... um... baseball. You wouldn't believe how many games we've
lost because certain footballheads weren't paying attention. Does that answer
your question, bucko?
- Helga
Hey Arnold!
How's it going? I was just wondering,
what do you think of Helga right now? And, if she was more nice and didn't
always say 'football head' or 'Arnoldo' would you like her?
- Just a
Girl Havin' Fun
Just a Girl,
Hi! I'm doing okay, thanks. As
for Helga, I would like it if she stopped being mean and calling me names, but I
don't really dislike her right now. Though I doubt she'd admit it, beneath all
the teasing, she can be a really nice person. I would like to see her good side
more often, though; not only is she easier to be around, but I think she's
happier when she's not being a bully.
- Arnold
Grandpa,
Sice you are known to give out some great
advice, I came to ask you for some. My mum wants me to enter a beauty contest,
but I hate getting dressed up and stuff. I want to tell her that I wanted to
drop out, but then I thought how much this meant to my mum, so I didn't tell
her, now I don't know what to do. What do you suggest?
- Help
Me!
Dear Help,
Beauty contest, eh? Reminds me
of something that happened to me when I was a lad. My old man had his heart set
on me winning the annual Junior Golfers' match. Or was it the ping pong
tournament? No, I'm pretty sure it was golf. Anyway, I was no good at it; I
would have rather played stickball with my friends. But my dad wouldn't hear of
it. He had to have that trophy. So I spent most of my time learning to golf
while all my friends were practicing for the big game. After all that work, I
came down with the stomach flu and couldn't play in the game. My pop was mad for
weeks. So, Help, don't eat raspberries. Well, gotta go!
-
Grandpa Phil
Helga,
I'm really sick of this stupid guy in my
class, he has a locker right on top of mine, and everytime I'm taking my stuff
out, he hits me on the head with his locker door! It's really getting annoying.
Do you have any ideas I could do to seek revenge??
- Revenge
Seeker
Seeker,
I say this chump needs a taste of
his own medicine. Tell him if he doesn't shape up, you're going to pound him
one. Hey, it's worked pretty well for me, at least.
-
Helga
Dear Arnold,
Hi! My friends and I are kind of in a
small argument right now so we were wondering if you could clear something up.
My friends say that there has been more than enough evidence to prove that you
know Helga likes you, but I'm not sure. So, if you did know, at least before I
wrote this, when did you figure it out?
- Asking
Asking,
I'm sorry, but I'm not quite sure
what you're talking about. If it helps, I don't think Helga dislikes me. She's
done a lot of mean things to me in the past, like calling me 'football head' all
the time and even getting me in trouble. But she's done some nice things too.
She did find my hat for me that one time, and eventually was able to work with
me on the greenhouse project. Helga's a complicated person sometimes, but I
think she does consider me a friend even though she's not always friendly to
me.
- Arnold
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