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July 2001 -
Gerald,
There's this really annoying guy who keeps
following me around, and thinks that he's my best friend... he keeps inviting me
over and stuff, but the thing is, I really can't stand him! I can't just tell
him I don't like him, since I don't want to hurt his feelings... what do I
do?
- Magnet_dude
Hey Magnet,
Try setting him up with another
kid. Whenever he invites you over or something, try to include one or two kids
who you think might be good friends for your 'pal'. Once he has someone else to
hang out with, he won't need to be around you all the time, and he'll probably
be happier when he's around people who like being with him. Well, hasta la
vista!
- Gerald
Arnold,
What would you do if one of your close
friends would ask you to help cheat on a test? Would you do it?
-
Scott
Dear Scott,
I would have to tell my friend
that I couldn't help him or her cheat. No matter how close my friend is, it
would be wrong to cheat when all my classmates have studied hard to earn their
grades honestly. I would try and council my friend until he or she realized the
ramifications of this action.
- Arnold
Ruth,
Think back to last Valentine's Day. Remember
the football-headed boy? Why did you ditch him? You are a jerk,
Ruth.
- Disgusted
To Disgusted,
Uh, like, I don't know why
you're calling me a jerk. Anyway, I don't remember any football-headed boy. I
mean, the waiter I talked with on Valentine's Day did not have a football shaped
head, and I can't think of any sixth-grade boys with football-heads. Are you
sure you're not thinking of another Ruth? Anyway, I have to go to a hair
appointment right now, so goodbye.
- Ruth McDougal
Helga,
What are some of your techniques for using
'Old Betsy'? I need advice to improve my own skills.
- Bully
Bully,
Finally, a decent question for me
after all of this 'Arnold' nonsense I've been getting! First, pull your arm
back; pull it back a lot if you wanna hurt the kid... if you just wanna get the
chump to back off, don't pull back so much. When you hit someone, make sure to
hit him firmly with your fist closed tightly, otherwise you could end up hurting
yourself. Finally, think of a place to hit the kid you're bullying. I reccomend
the face... once a kid comes home with a black eye, they'll never push you
around again.
- Helga
Curly,
Why are you always so crazy? Like the time you
painted yourself with tiger stripes and freed the animals in the zoo, or the
time that you put a bomb in "Principal Simmons" office, or the time that you
locked yourself in a closet and took all the kickballs? What is it with
you?
- Not Weird
Dear Tool of the Establishment,
I'm not
crazy, I just get very, very mad. People like Wartz and Simmons are always
keeping me down, and you can't blame me if I sometimes take a strike for
justice. Don't you think those animals deserved a taste of freedom... to run
wild in the streets, doing whatever they wished? And when I locked myself in the
principal's office, I was just showing those tyrants at PS 118 that they won't
be able to walk over Thaddeus Gamelthorpe and usurp his sacred right as ball
monitor. I call that sane, don't you? Well, don't you?!
-
Curly
Go to my main page.
bravenet.com