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February 2001 -
Brainy,
Why do you let Helga punch you every time?
Why don't you stand up for yourself?
- Wondering Minds Want to
Know
Wondering,
Uh... for some
reason.
- Brainy
Nadine,
What's the best bug you've ever caught? Mine
would have to be my rare spotted Tiger Beetle, I carry it around everywhere!
...Oh, and how many bugs have you collected? I have about 2,000.
-
Bugsie
Hi Bugsie,
It's nice to meet a fellow
junior etymologist! I try to talk about these things with Rhonda, but she just
doesn't see how wonderful bugs are. The best bug I've ever caught would have to
be the striped caterpillar I caught in second grade, not because it's the rarest
bug I caught, but because I was able to watch it create a cocoon and change into
a butterfly. I had never seen this before, and I think that was what made me
really interested in bugs. I've collected a lot of bugs. The most that I have
had at one time would be about 2,500, though about three quarters of the bugs
would be in my ant and termite farms.
- Nadine
Eugene,
What's the worst accident that you have ever
caused or been hurt in?
- Simmer
Simmer,
Gee, that's a tough question. I've
been in a lot of accidents, but the worst that I could remember would have to be
the time I went to the restaurant and tripped on my shoelaces. I bumped into
this waitress, who spilled hot food on my head, and then I fell onto a cart that
was nearby. I couldn't see what was happening because of the food, but the next
thing I knew, I was outside and had fallen into a ditch that was being dug
outside of the restaurant. Because it was cold and rainy, I came down with a
fever. I was out in the hospital for a week, but all the doctors and nurses were
really friendly to me, even when I almost choked on a thermometer. And all of
the kids at school pitched in to give me a present. Though the jack-in the-box
they got me gave me a black eye, I was happy to have such thoughtful friends.
The jack-in-the-box is still in my room, so I can always remember how wonderful
all of my friends are.
- Eugene
Arnold,
What do you do when faced with a problem you
can't solve?
- Advice Giver
Giver,
When I come across a problem that I
can't solve, I usually ask someone I know for advice. My grandpa is always
willing to help me out, and, even if the advice doesn't help too much, it often
helps me to get on the right track to a solution.
-
Arnold
Stinky,
I love Lemon Pudding, and since you're like,
the lemon pudding king, I wanted to know: what's the best way to eat it, all at
once or slowly?
- Lemon Pudding Lover
Howdy LPL,
Well, I reckon that you can't go
wrong with lemon pudding, no matter how you eat it. I usually like eating it
nice and slow, on account of then I get to eat it longer.
-
Stinky
Harold-
I love tacos, but can never eat more than
five in a row. Do you have any advice on how I can cram more tacos?
-
Hungry
Hungry,
Aw, geez, you're making me hungry!
Why did you have to do that? Well, the trick to cramming tacos is to loosen your
jaw as much as you can; that way you can get more food in. Now, since I helped
you out, send me one of those tacos you were talking about,
okay?
- Harold
Arnold,
Do you like Helga?
-
Curious
Curious,
That's a hard question; you'd
guess that I would hate her after being pushed around and taunted by her all the
time. But I think there's a lot to Helga that she doesn't let on. Sometimes she
can be really mean, and I can get pretty angry at her. But occasionally she'll
do something that makes me see the girl underneath. Maybe I'm crazy, but I think
that she can be a really nice person.
- Arnold
Sid,
Ok, I'm guessing you get this a lot, but... HOW
CAN YOU BE SO DARN CUTE!? Sorry if you've been getting this too much lately, but
I have to be your biggest fan... I think you're utterly gorgeous!
-
Angelica
Angelica,
Sid will have to get back to you
on that. After he read your unique question, he sort of turned red and fainted.
Right now he's in the nurse's office. I'm sure he's flattered, though. Continue
sending letters, and stay special!
- Mr. Simmons
Hi Helga,
Why don't you just admit to Arnold you like
him? If not that, then you can just be good friends with him and stop picking on
him and stop calling him "Football Head".
- Alex
Alex,
Crimeney Alex, is this some sort of
practical joke? Me, like Arnoldo? Where, in your wildest imagination, did you
come up with a football-headed idea like that!? I'll let you off this time, but
if you don't want to have a meeting with 'Old Betsy', you'd better ask questions
that actually make some sense, okay?
- Helga
Dear Lila,
Every time I am in a play I always wanted
to play a main character in the play but I always end up as what I consider a
'reject character' because nobody in the play notices that I even exist. What
should I do?
- Aspiring Actress
Dear Aspiring,
I am ever so delighted to
get your question! But I am ever so certain that there are no such things as
'reject characters'. Every person has an important part to play, and every actor
adds something ever so special to the play, even if they are not the main
character. But if you continue to work hard, I am certain that you will
eventually get that ever so special role that you've been searching
for.
- Lila
Gerald,
How do you come up with all of these Urban
Legends?
- Alex
Hey Alex,
Well, I can't really say that I
come up with the Urban Legends myself. I'm just the keeper of the tales. I was
chosen by the last keeper to be his successor, and I learned all the legends
that he knew. I can't say much about how I was chosen, as that's a secret for
the keepers alone to know. But I can say that it's pretty cool keeping the
legends alive and passing them down to the next kid
generation.
- Gerald
Helga,
As you know, Valentine's Day is coming up. I
want to do something to impress this boy I secretly like, but I'm at a loss, and
thought that you would be the best person to ask. What should I do?
-
Lovelorn
Lovelorn,
What are you asking me for,
bucko? If you want help with that mushy girly stuff, you should really ask Lila
or something. But, since you asked me, I'll try and give you an answer. If, in
the highly unlikely situation that I had some crush on a boy and I wanted to
impress him, I would trick him into spending time with me. If you do this, you
can then show him how you're so much better than any bimbos that he might
like.
- Helga
Brainy,
How do you know when to sneak up behind
Helga?
- Curious
Curious,
I dunno.
-
Brainy
Arnold,
I have been fighting a lot with my brother.
He keeps taking my stuff, and my mom and dad don't help much. How do I get him
to stop being a jerk?
- Bickering Brother
Bickering,
I'm sure your brother will come
around. In the meanwhile, try to be patient with him, and tell him your feelings
honestly. If you treat him kindly, he'll be more likely to listen to your
grievances. When he comes to the realization that he hasn't been respectful
towards you, he'll probably do the right thing and give everything
back.
- Arnold
Go to my main page.
bravenet.com
